Author: Erin Newton

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Let’s Talk about Sex

Links for today’s readings:

Apr 1  Read: Song of Songs 8 Listen: (2:23) Read: Matthew 5 Listen: (6:03)

Scripture Focus: Song of Solomon 8:4

4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
    Do not arouse or awaken love
    until it so desires.

Reflection: Let’s Talk about Sex

By Erin Newton

Song of Solomon repeats the plea to “refrain from arousing or awakening love until it so desires” in 2:7, 3:5, and 8:4. But what does this phrase mean? 

Admittedly, this phrase had left scholars with more questions than answers. Early church fathers saw the intimate relationship as an allegory for God and the Church. Others and later interpreters read the poetry as a typical human love poem.

Still more troublesome is our culture’s relationship with sex. Everything is over-sexualized from clothing to cologne ads to music to Halloween costumes. Our imago Dei is good and lovely, yet the exploitation of our bodies crosses many moral lines.

Setting aside an allegorical reading of the book, let’s talk about sex.

Some have read the phrase to refer to abstinence from sex altogether. Since the phrase is repeated twice before chapter 8, the two have already been intimate so that cannot be the meaning here.

Sheila Gregoire, author and founder of Bare Marriage, speaks regularly about Christians’ (mis)understanding about sex. In her blog post about this phrase, she notes that for many Christian women who grew up in the 90s-00s, “we’re taught that we are responsible both for our own purity and for his.” It was this verse that was used to support not arousing him until it was time. 

The problem with this concept was that the onus fell on women. “Boys can’t stop” was the mantra. Failure to refrain meant the female in the relationship was the cause of both of their failures to follow this scriptural admonition. This is untrue.

Shame that often followed has added to many Christian couples’ struggles in bed. 

What can we learn from this phrase? Sexual desire is good and inevitable, but don’t underestimate its power (for both men and women). There is wisdom in timing. The better “purity teaching” would highlight how waiting is meant to benefit couples, protecting from heartache, unplanned pregnancies, or abandonment.

For many Christians, the admonition might be far too late to heed. There is so much more to this topic, more than we can fit in our short reflections here at The Park Forum. But I think Sheila concludes it well:

“Please know, even if love was awakened too early, you can still re-awaken it. I think that’s what God loves to do—restore that which was broken. All of creation is broken, but Jesus is always working towards wholeness.”

Divine Hours Prayer: The Request for Presence

Send out your light and your truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling;

That I may go to the altar of God, to the God of my joy and gladness; and on the harp I will give thanks to you, O God my God. — Psalm 43.3-4

– From The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle.

Read more: Jesus Is as Serious as Leviticus

A victim may grant forgiveness as part of their act of worship. Those who do harm must make restitution as part of theirs.

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Human love can be twisted, becoming sinful jealousy that destroys what it can no longer possess…leads to rape, domestic violence, abuse, and often murder.

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Suffering Servant Psalm

Links for today’s readings:

Mar 25 Read:  Song of Songs 1 Listen: (2:16) Read: Psalm 69 Listen: (4:04)

Scripture Focus: Psalm 69:7-12

7 For I endure scorn for your sake,
    and shame covers my face.
8 I am a foreigner to my own family,
    a stranger to my own mother’s children;
9 for zeal for your house consumes me,
    and the insults of those who insult you fall on me.
10 When I weep and fast,
    I must endure scorn;
11 when I put on sackcloth,
    people make sport of me.
12 Those who sit at the gate mock me,
    and I am the song of the drunkards.

Reflection: Suffering Servant Psalm

By Erin Newton

Of the many names and epithets given to Jesus, the title “Suffering Servant” is one of most cherished. We often think about the community’s rejection of the Suffering Servant in Isaiah:

13 See, my servant will act wisely;
    he will be raised and lifted up and highly exalted.
14 Just as there were many who were appalled at him—
    his appearance was so disfigured beyond that of any human being
    and his form marred beyond human likeness—
15 so he will sprinkle many nations,
    and kings will shut their mouths because of him.
For what they were not told, they will see,
    and what they have not heard, they will understand. (Isa 52:13–15)

We also reflect on his suffering:

4 Surely he took up our pain
    and bore our suffering,
yet we considered him punished by God,
    stricken by him, and afflicted.
5 But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed.
6 We all, like sheep, have gone astray,
    each of us has turned to our own way;
and the Lord has laid on him
    the iniquity of us all. (Isa 53:4–6)

Likewise, much of Psalm 69 sounds familiar to the Gospels’ depiction of Christ. This psalm is a lengthy petition to God with a series of verses (vv. 7-12) that can be categorized as those of a “suffering servant.”

On the cross, Jesus was scorned, disgraced, and shamed. While on the cross, “they … gave me vinegar for my thirst” (Ps 69:21). The eagerness for God’s household is echoed by Jesus.

Though many similarities are found between Psalm 69, Isaiah’s Suffering Servant passages, and the Gospels’ depiction of Jesus, this is more than just a psalm about Jesus. Because of the suffering of Christ, we rest assured that he sympathizes with our own suffering. This psalm seems to foretell of Jesus’s complex grief and hardship, but it also resonates with our own.  

While we recognize Christ throughout the psalms and see how all God’s word points to him, we also understand that being made in God’s image and Jesus being incarnated to share in our humanity means that we can apply these psalms to our own lives. We grieve like Christ grieves. We weep; we cry out; and we hope just as the psalmist and Christ did.

Divine Hours Prayer: The Refrain for the Morning Lessons

And yet my people did not hear my voice, and Israel would not obey me. — Psalm 84.11

– From The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle.

Read more: Sexuality and Spirituality

The Song should encourage us to apply holiness to our intimate sexual relationships.

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You watch not only the sparrow, but you see us too.
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God’s Lachrymatory

Links for today’s readings:

Mar 18 Read:  Ecclesiastes 6 Listen: (1:44) Read: Psalms 56-57 Listen: (3:11)

Scripture Focus: Psalm 56:8

8 Record my misery;
    list my tears on your scroll—
    are they not in your record?

Reflection: God’s Lachrymatory

By Erin Newton

According to some accounts, ancient Roman mourners would collect their tears in small vials and bury them with their deceased loved ones. These little “tear jars” or lachrymatories were filled with tears, and their evaporation would parallel the end of mourning. As the bottle dried out, so would one’s eyes.

While the validity of such assumptions is questionable, Psalm 56 highlights the value of keeping a record of grief. As a lament and prayer to God in a time of trouble, the psalmist exposes their grief and asks God to take it into account.

There are many psalms that ask God to remove grief or misery. The Lord’s prayer asks that God lead us not into temptation. Paul begged God to remove the thorn in his flesh. Here, the psalmist embraces the fullness of misery. It is as if to say, “Don’t let my tears be wasted.”

Contrary to much of our impulses (or cultural conditioning), the psalmist doesn’t shy away from crying. Crying is a given. Crying might even be desired. And at least, crying won’t be for nothing.

Like the ancient mourners, God is thought to collect the tears of his beloved children and record them in his scroll. Like a divine accountant of pain and sadness, God sees, notes, and validates the psalmist’s tears.

The Bible is full of criers. Genesis 21:17 says, “God heard the boy crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, ‘What is the matter, Hagar? Do not be afraid; God has heard the boy crying as he lies there.’ ” God heard another woman crying, “In her deep anguish Hannah prayed to the Lord, weeping bitterly” (1 Sam 1:10), and granted her desire to have a child. Even the prophets were known for their weeping: “Streams of tears flow from my eyes because my people are destroyed” (Lam 3:48).

Have you ever considered your tears as a sort of spiritual currency? I surely have not. I have been taught (and fully agree) that tears are not only a meaningful expression but also a regulatory experience. Tears are often necessary and can lead to emotional stabilization. Despite the dread of “having to cry it out,” we are reassured here that they are not ignored.

Crying is not a weakness. The Man of Sorrows joins in our misery by relating to our emotions, acknowledging our pain, and ensuring that grief is never wasted.

Divine Hours Prayer: The Request for Presence

Let my cry come before you, O Lord; give me understanding, according to your word.
Let my supplication come before you; deliver me, according to your promise. — Psalm 119.169-170

– From The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle.

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In the psalms, we enter the lived emotion of artists who bared their souls to God in prayers that were always intended to be performed.

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Hands Are Not for Hitting

Links for today’s readings:

Mar 11  Read: Proverbs 30 Listen: (3:51) Read: Psalms 46-47 Listen: (2:15)

Scripture Focus: Psalm 47:1-2

1 Clap your hands, all you nations;

     shout to God with cries of joy.

2 For the Lord Most High is awesome,

     the great King over all the earth.

Reflection: Hands Are Not for Hitting

By Erin Newton

There is a children’s book titled, Hands Are Not for Hitting. The overall premise is to help teach children that hands can do lots of great things but should not be used for hurting others. My children are too old for that book, but I swear I said, “Hands are not for hitting,” just last week.

As the book tells us, with our hands we can do great things: We can build houses, we can cook food, we can pet a dog, and we can plant tulips. But with our hands we sometimes do horrible things: Hands have slapped faces, hands have assaulted victims, hands have pulled triggers or thrust knives. Like James says of the tongue, with our hands we both curse and praise God.

Some of us might not be familiar with religious services that are more expressive or pentecostal. In such services, clapping and praising God with raised hands is a normal part of the service. 

Sometimes hands are used to lay on someone for healing. Hands hold tambourines. Hands reach up to the sky or hold one close to the ground. Hands are for praising. Just like this psalm says.

“Clap your hands.” Why? Because God is the “great King over all the earth.” And the proper response is lifting our hands in jubilant praise.

But we don’t often use our hands well and the world has a lot of different ideas of what we should put our hands to.

We live in turbulent times of conflict and warfare. There are calls to “take up arms” or “lift one’s sword” for other kings (or presidents or supreme leaders, etc.). We are told that the best use of hands is securing power through strength. Meanwhile we’re also at home struggling to teach our youngest minds that “hands are still not for hitting.”

One of my close friends is part of the “peace tradition” (Anabaptist, Brethren) community of Christians. The call to complete nonviolence is a way of life for her. She leans into Jesus’s call for peace and uses her hands in caring, humble, and thoughtful ways.

We are thankful for those, a small percentage, who answer the call to serve their country. However, we should not take up arms to fight our neighbors. We should not use our hands to hurt one another. Hands are for praising.

Divine Hours Prayer: The Call to Prayer

Bless our God, you peoples; make the voice of his praise to be heard;
Who holds our souls in life, and will not allow our feet to slip. — Psalm 66.7-8

– From The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle.

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Technology is capable of aiding us…May we use technology to tie God’s Word on our hands and integrate it into our lives.

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The Rat Race

Links for today’s readings:

Mar 4  Read: Proverbs 23 Listen: (3:39) Read: Mark 13 Listen: (4:32)

Scripture Focus: Proverbs 23:4-5

4 Do not wear yourself out to get rich;
    do not trust your own cleverness.
5 Cast but a glance at riches, and they are gone,
    for they will surely sprout wings
    and fly off to the sky like an eagle.

Reflection: The Rat Race

By Erin Newton

When pressed to find a suitable cultural reference for the idea of “wealth isn’t everything,” my mind immediately went to Christmas stories: The Christmas Carol (admittedly, the muppet version) and It’s a Wonderful Life. But looking for a good one-liner, I think of Harry Bailey who says: “A toast to my big brother George, the richest man in town!” George has just had an epiphany about what brings value to life, and his friends and family rallied to keep him from financial destitution.

During a season beset with giving and generosity, such movies keep the “spirit” going. We are reminded that giving is good. But once the new year rolls around, we are back at it—the rat race. The “American Dream” is built on the idea of working hard and building wealth. Of course, many of us are probably not in any sort of space where our savings are increasing. Right now, making ends meet is about as good as it gets.

Struggling to have enough to live is exhausting. It is not hard to identify the various ways our lives would be easier if we had bigger inflow of income. We might read this verse and scoff, “Not my problem!” Who is really prospering right now? Believe me, I get it.

But the drive to try to be wealthy might be something we do struggle with. Wanting to afford things for ourselves and our families is not inherently bad. But if we are single-mindedly trying to gain and gain and gain, we are likely to burn out.

My husband recently said, “What if a little is enough?” He told me about a business model that used a shopping center for local businesses. The spaces were rented out in increments depending on the needs of the entrepreneurs. The idea was to avoid the larger box stores or franchises and keep expenses low. “Just enough for what they need to use.”

Just enough.

Where can we let go of the weary pursuit of building wealth and settle for “just enough”? What can we gain by stepping back?

The proverb says that money is fleeting. Money is easy to spend. Investments can be easily de-valued. Heirlooms can depreciate. Precious jewels can be lost. Our satisfaction is often a moving goalpost.

Jesus came to give us life to the fullest. Don’t waste it yearning for earnings. Know when you have enough and then stop.

Divine Hours Prayer: The Small Verse

Today if you shall hear his voice, harden not your heart.

– From The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle.

Read more: Watch

Jesus says many similar things in this passage: watch, beware, keep watch, be on guard, be alert, stay awake, be ready. He never says, “predict.”

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