Links for today’s readings:
Apr 1 Read: Song of Songs 8 Listen: (2:23) Read: Matthew 5 Listen: (6:03)
Scripture Focus: Song of Solomon 8:4
4 Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
Reflection: Let’s Talk about Sex
By Erin Newton
Song of Solomon repeats the plea to “refrain from arousing or awakening love until it so desires” in 2:7, 3:5, and 8:4. But what does this phrase mean?
Admittedly, this phrase had left scholars with more questions than answers. Early church fathers saw the intimate relationship as an allegory for God and the Church. Others and later interpreters read the poetry as a typical human love poem.
Still more troublesome is our culture’s relationship with sex. Everything is over-sexualized from clothing to cologne ads to music to Halloween costumes. Our imago Dei is good and lovely, yet the exploitation of our bodies crosses many moral lines.
Setting aside an allegorical reading of the book, let’s talk about sex.
Some have read the phrase to refer to abstinence from sex altogether. Since the phrase is repeated twice before chapter 8, the two have already been intimate so that cannot be the meaning here.
Sheila Gregoire, author and founder of Bare Marriage, speaks regularly about Christians’ (mis)understanding about sex. In her blog post about this phrase, she notes that for many Christian women who grew up in the 90s-00s, “we’re taught that we are responsible both for our own purity and for his.” It was this verse that was used to support not arousing him until it was time.
The problem with this concept was that the onus fell on women. “Boys can’t stop” was the mantra. Failure to refrain meant the female in the relationship was the cause of both of their failures to follow this scriptural admonition. This is untrue.
Shame that often followed has added to many Christian couples’ struggles in bed.
What can we learn from this phrase? Sexual desire is good and inevitable, but don’t underestimate its power (for both men and women). There is wisdom in timing. The better “purity teaching” would highlight how waiting is meant to benefit couples, protecting from heartache, unplanned pregnancies, or abandonment.
For many Christians, the admonition might be far too late to heed. There is so much more to this topic, more than we can fit in our short reflections here at The Park Forum. But I think Sheila concludes it well:
“Please know, even if love was awakened too early, you can still re-awaken it. I think that’s what God loves to do—restore that which was broken. All of creation is broken, but Jesus is always working towards wholeness.”
Divine Hours Prayer: The Request for Presence
Send out your light and your truth, that they may lead me, and bring me to your holy hill and to your dwelling;
That I may go to the altar of God, to the God of my joy and gladness; and on the harp I will give thanks to you, O God my God. — Psalm 43.3-4
– From The Divine Hours: Prayers for Springtime by Phyllis Tickle.
Read more: Jesus Is as Serious as Leviticus
A victim may grant forgiveness as part of their act of worship. Those who do harm must make restitution as part of theirs.
Read more: Love Stronger Than Death
Human love can be twisted, becoming sinful jealousy that destroys what it can no longer possess…leads to rape, domestic violence, abuse, and often murder.
